Tittle Tattle Newsletter
Sponsored by Harden Congregational Church
February 2021 Issue
Note from Editor
We hope you all received your hard copy of the village newspaper at the beginning of December. We anticipated that we would not be producing another one until May as would be usual. Then came the next lockdown and the opportunity to communicate with each other became more difficult again. So we decided to produce another newsletter in the interim just to keep in touch.
Thoughts on Lockdown
I used to get excited at the prospect of seeing family, meeting friends, birthday parties and holidays. I never thought I would be excited at the prospect of getting a vaccination! C’est la vie!
I have developed a lot of worrying habits during Lockdown………………………
waking up and not knowing what day it is and what is worse, not actually caring what day it is.
wearing the same jumper for days on end because nobody but me knows or cares.
thinking the highlight of the day is what to have for dinner.
losing things, knowing they must be somewhere in the house because I haven’t been out anywhere
I’ve hunted near I’ve hunted far
I even looked inside my car
I’ve lost my glasses, I’m in need
To have them now so I can read
I loudly swear and I curse
Did I leave them in my purse?
Are they behind the sofa, under the bed?
Oh there they are……on my head!
BUT spare a thought for parents of young children. How do they cope with their brood during Lockdown; to educate them, amuse them, exercise them, bribe them, feed them and that’s just in the first hour of the day!
There’s always the TV to fall back on but then the guilt creeps in…..
[extract Roald Dahl]
The most important thing we’ve learned
So far as children are concerned
Is never, NEVER, NEVER let
Them near your television set
In almost every house we’ve been
We’ve watched them gaping at the screen
They loll and slop and lounge about
And stare until their eyes pop out
They sit and stare and stare and sit
Until they’re hypnotised by it………..
BUT WHAT THE HECK IT IS A LOCKDOWN!
It’s difficult to keep children to all the norms of behaviour when you are at the end of your tether.
Maintaining healthy eating habits can be a challenge when you need them to be quiet during your work conference call and the option of crisps beckons, as a bribe for a few minutes quiet. Mealtimes can be fraught when all you want is a break and manners fly out of the window. Go with the flow!
The Pea Challenge
I eat peas with honey
I’ve done it all my life
It makes the peas taste funny
But it keeps them on my knife!
And at the end of a very busy day and the prospect of the same tomorrow………
A Parent’s Prayer
[extract David Axton]
Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray my sanity to keep.
For if some peace I do not find
I’m pretty sure I’ll lose my mind.
I pray I find a little quiet
Far from the daily family riot.
Thank You to the Teachers
Making feeble attempts to help with the home schooling has made me realise how much we should value the teachers, particularly at the moment, when they are having to teach classes face to face, run virtual classes and prepare for the next day for long hours after school.
I can see they are doing a good job in difficult circumstances and they deserve our support and praise for all their efforts to support our children, educate them and keep up their spirits.
A message of thanks goes a long way!
We should never lose sight of how important it is to nurture our children…….they are the future.
‘Train up a child in the way he should go.
Even when he is old he will not depart from it.’
‘Encourage one another and build up one another.’
Lock down Rules
Just in case it snows again does anyone know how many snowmen you are allowed in your garden?
A Winter Quiz [answers below]
1. Which zodiac sign runs from November 22nd to December 21st?
2. ‘Now is the winter of our discontent’ is the opening line of which Shakespeare play?
3. True or False? No country in the Southern Hemisphere has hosted or even been an applicant to host the Winter Olympics.
4. The Winter Palace can be visited in which city?
5. Which James Bond actor made his film debut in the 1968 historical period drama ‘The Lion in Winter’?
6. Which fruit has a variety called ‘Winter Banana’?
7. In fiction, where is the land of talking animals and mythical creatures that one White Witch has ruled for 100 years of deep winter?
8. Which winter sport is sometimes known as ‘The Roaring Game’?
9. Who was the British Prime Minister during the ‘Winter of Discontent’?
10. How many sides do all snowflakes have?
11. In TV’s ‘Game of Thrones’ what is the name of the ancestral home of House Stark?
12. How long does winter last in the Northern hemisphere?
13. What is Chinophobia?
14. What is a Chinook?
15. Which Russian composer wrote the music for the opera ’The Snow Maiden’?
16. Which four-lettered winter sport is the French word for ‘sledge’ or ‘toboggan’?
17. Which usually travels faster a cold front or a warm front?
18. Which county is England’s wettest?
19. Which British animal is brown in the summer and white in the winter?
20. Which poet wrote the line ‘If Winter comes can Spring be far behind’/
Quiz….All a bit silly! [answers below]
1. What is the offspring of a zebra and a donkey called?
2. Who was afraid of mice Walt Disney or Beatrix Potter?
3. What is mentioned in more Beatles songs; LOVE or the WEATHER?
4. What colour is an aeroplane’s black box?
5. What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo?
6. Who was the first US President to be elected with a criminal record?
7. Who owns all the swans in England?
8. According to his government press releases which world leader bowled a perfect 300 game on his first attempt, struck 11 holes in one in one in one round of golf and could drive at the age of three?
9. What do you call a woman covered in snails?
10. What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
11. ‘I told you I was ill’ are the words on which comedian’s gravestone?
12. How many top three places in 34 races did Dick Dastardly and Muttley achieve in Wacky Races.
13. In which film did Captain Keen give the order ‘Fire at Will’ which got the response ‘Poor old Will, why do they always pick on him?’
14. Who has children named Daisy, Boo, Pamela, Buddy Bear Maurice?
15. What part of his body did musician Gene Simmons insure for 1 million dollars?
16. Ironically, the UK’s Dyslexia Research Trust is based in which British city?
17. Complete the quote by Billy Connelly ‘My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of…..’
18. Which rock star once said ‘Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and just give her a house’?
19. In which European country are there villages called ‘Silly’, called ‘Billy’ and two called ‘Pratt’?
20. Once owned by Henry VIII, what was bought by Cecil Chubb in a south west England auction on 21st September 1915 for £6600?
Unfortunately, we had to take the decision to close the doors of our building again at the start of the latest lockdown but the members of the church still carry on in the knowledge, as Captain Tom would put it, that tomorrow will be a good day. We have kept in touch with each other, maintaining our weekly services and our meetings with the assistance of modern technology. Having said that we can’t wait to see everyone again face to face and God willing, be able to sing!
Such as that favourite hymn
Guide me, O thou great Jehovah
pilgrim through this barren land;
I am weak, but Thou art mighty;
hold me with thy powerful hand:
Bread of heaven
feed me now and evermore
Open now the crystal fountain,
whence the healing stream doth flow;
let the fiery, cloudy pillar
lead me all my journey through:
be thou still my strength and shield.
Jane Gerdes reports that the Advent book trail went very well. Harden children took the opportunity to search out the hidden books around the village every day during Advent and enjoyed a good read!
The Advent Window Walk started on the 5th December and ran until 31st December. Lots of villagers took part for which we are grateful. The feedback we received was very positive as it gave people the opportunity to get out for a walk during these difficult times.
The event raised £346.50 for Harden Primary School. These funds are spent on the children for example day trips and poets who visit the school. These funds are vital to try and keep the costs of trips down, purchasing books for the school library, playground equipment and new iPads.
The winners of the event were the Wederell family and in second place were the Dodds family.
We must say a big thank you to all those who decorated their windows ad gardens, everybody who took part and to the village post office for selling the maps.
Some of the photos are displayed below.
Answers to A Winter Quiz
2. Richard III
4. St. Petersburg
5. Timothy Dalton
7. Narnia in the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe.
9. James Callaghan
12. December to March
13. A fear of snow
14. A type of winter wind
17. Cold front
19. The Stoat
20. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Answers to A Bit Silly Quiz
1. A Deborah or a Zonkey.
2. Walt Disney.
5. A woolly jumper.
6. George W Bush
7. The Queen.
8. Kim Jong Un
11. Spike Milligan.
13. Carry on Up the Khyber.
14. Jamie and Jules Oliver
15. His tongue.
17. The Lone Ranger
18. Rod Stewart
A Winter Prayer
As the sun melts the snow,
let your light melt away
negativity, bitterness and sadness.
As the shoots begin to emerge
from the cold earth
May we look forward to a new Spring;
a new beginning. Amen